Life, one day

I think about things in terms of ‘one day’

One day I’ll be happy
One day it’ll be different

One day I won’t be me

I lose myself in the possibilities that ‘one day’ might bring

I worry about the possibilities that ‘one day’ might never come
I consider what my life will be like if ‘one day’ finally comes
One day I’ll be healthy
One day I’ll be full of laughter 

One day I’ll fall asleep fulfilled and peaceful

One day I’ll wake up with eagerness to meet what lies ahead 

I consider what my life will be like if ‘one day’ never arrives 

One day I won’t get out of bed
One day I won’t keep going

One day I won’t get better

One day it just won’t stop

One day

One day

One day

I’ve grown tired of waiting for ‘one day’
I’ve grown weary of the promise of what ‘one day’ might finally bring

One day

One day 

One day 
The words lose their meaning 

One more day?

One less day?

One day soon?

One day in the past?

How will I know when that ‘one day’ is here?

Will someone tell me?

Or like love, will I just fucking know?

Will it come like a storm with thunder and lightening and with a warning?

Or will it be quiet and stealth with no fanfare or time to prepare?

What if I miss my ‘one day’?

What if I’m busy having a bad day?

Will I get a do-over day?

What if my ‘one day’ already came?

and I didn’t even know it?

What if it was worse before? 

And this, this is my ‘one day’

And I’m busy wasting it

Waiting for something that already happened?

What if this

really is 

as good as it gets?

As it’s ever gonna get?

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7 thoughts on “Life, one day

  1. What if this/really is/as good as it gets?/As it’s ever gonna get?

    That’s a scary thought, and a very human thought, even for those of us with no physical affliction. Even though I don’t have MS, I play the “one day” game as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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