I think about things in terms of ‘one day’
One day I’ll be happy
One day it’ll be different
One day I won’t be me
I lose myself in the possibilities that ‘one day’ might bring
I worry about the possibilities that ‘one day’ might never come
I consider what my life will be like if ‘one day’ finally comes
One day I’ll be healthy
One day I’ll be full of laughter
One day I’ll fall asleep fulfilled and peaceful
One day I’ll wake up with eagerness to meet what lies ahead
I consider what my life will be like if ‘one day’ never arrives
One day I won’t get out of bed
One day I won’t keep going
One day I won’t get better
One day it just won’t stop
I’ve grown tired of waiting for ‘one day’
I’ve grown weary of the promise of what ‘one day’ might finally bring
The words lose their meaning
One more day?
One less day?
One day soon?
One day in the past?
How will I know when that ‘one day’ is here?
Will someone tell me?
Or like love, will I just fucking know?
Will it come like a storm with thunder and lightening and with a warning?
Or will it be quiet and stealth with no fanfare or time to prepare?
What if I miss my ‘one day’?
What if I’m busy having a bad day?
Will I get a do-over day?
What if my ‘one day’ already came?
and I didn’t even know it?
What if it was worse before?
And this, this is my ‘one day’
And I’m busy wasting it
Waiting for something that already happened?
What if this
as good as it gets?
As it’s ever gonna get?