‘New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings’

I crawl into bed

Close my eyes 

And the first thought that comes to mind 

Is that I am happy tonight 

My heart that usually feels so heavy yet so empty feels like bursting with vibrancy 

My eyes often so tired and strained feel the satisfaction you get after a rigorous workout

My body equal parts listless and pained feels like it’s tingling with anticipation 

My mind cavernous and sometimes chaotic is eager for what might come next

I want to capture this exact feeling in this moment

In the only way I know how

Immortalizing it with words and reflecting it back into the world 

Maybe someone might just be looking back

In this moment I want to just let go and feel sure that the world will catch me 

So secure and safe I feel tonight unlike nights where my muscles tense with fears of what was once and what’s beyond

I want to wake up and bask in the leftovers and soak up the remnants of this moment 

I’ll close my eyes

And wake up in the morning 

And without opening my eyes, I will just know that this morning is different

With the beginning of a new day carrying only hope and possibilities 

And not another fucking curse

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6 thoughts on “‘New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings’”

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