A cold snap ends
And the warmth comes creeping back
Into your limbs and bones
Warming you up from the inside and out
Until you can’t remember how cold it ever was
That’s what depression is like
It takes over and it’s the coldest you’ve ever been
And it seems never ending
It’s so all consuming
And you can’t even think about all the other people who are just as cold
It’s painful and numbing all at once
It hurts your cheeks to smile
And your tears are too frozen to even start their descent
Then suddenly and without warning
It changes
The numbness fades to tingling
Like a reminder that the body is still alive
Cautiously you move forward
Not knowing when the cold might return
When
Not if
Because it always comes back
You know it will
Greyer and colder than you remembered
It doesn’t matter if the thaw lasts for a few days or a few months
It’s like you forget just how fucking cold it can be
Until you wake up again and it’s minus 40 and you’re under 6ft of snow
Everything is hollow and heavy at once
And it’s no wonder
That you can’t remember what the sun feels like on your skin
Or the last time you laughed
Because your heart isn’t just frozen
I absolutely loved this! Your writing was so powerful and passion! I could feel every word and it all really hit straight home for me!
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Thanks Alyssa 😊
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