The mind is a terrible thing to taste..

It’s too much

It’s too hard

It hurts too much

I’m too weak

I’m not strong enough

It isn’t worth it

You’re too sensitive

You’re too moody

You think too much

You need to let things go

They think I don’t try hard enough

They think I do it to myself

They think I should just get over it

They think I always feel sorry for myself

Mostly they’re right

I don’t want to feel like this forever

I can’t keep doing this

I’m so tired of all of this

I’m too weak for this shit

I’m just so tired

I wasn’t made out for this

Maybe if I didn’t spend as much time as I do battling the thoughts in my own head

Maybe if I wasn’t so hard on myself

Maybe if I didn’t compare myself to others

Maybe if I didn’t get lost in this sea of maybes

I can’t even imagine telling the youth I work with the same things that I tell myself every single day

And if they told me they were having those very same thoughts

I’d help them tear down every last one of those deceitful thoughts

I’d tell them that sometimes their minds play tricks on them

But that they have the power to change their way of thinking

By using evidence to prove those thoughts wrong

I’d say ‘you say you’re not strong

But you survived x, y and z’

And they’d look back at me not believing a word

And then I’d say

‘You say you don’t want to feel this way forever

What are you doing to change the way you feel? ‘

They’d hang their head, and reluctantly answer that they’re not doing anything to change their feelings

I’d respond with ‘You know it won’t happen over night

Sometimes the things that will make you happiest, take time and a lot of effort to get’

They’d look back at me

And I could see in their eyes

The minute

The second

That it clicks for them

That they get it

And they know that I’m right

That they have the power to change their lives

They hold it in their hands

They’ve always had it

They’ve just got to find it

And yet

Even after all these years

And all this time

And still

I can’t

For the fucking life of me

Find it in myself

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12 thoughts on “The mind is a terrible thing to taste..”

  1. You writing this post shows you are stronger then this and your mind will be able to get where it needs to be! Keep pushing, don’t give up! I’ve felt exactly the same but the mind does wonders when you can get it on track! Take care x x

    Like

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