Hi my name is Angela and it’s been one week since my last infusion…

It’s been up and down

Steroids really fuck with my entire system

Most of the physical side effects have dissipated

Left over is irritability

More so than usual that is

I don’t know how last time around I spent an entire month in isolation

I’m seriously going mad inside

I’ve watched shows, played around with my hair, cleaned, planted some herbs on my terrace and slept

And thought

A lot

I’ve been thinking about what’s next with work, how the kids are doing, if this treatment will work, the upcoming Paxil withdrawal, how they really do get the caramel in the caramilk bar

And the list goes on and on and on

I’m not gonna lie

The Paxil thing has been at the forefront

I have been totally obsessing over it

I’m terrified

But that’s another blog entry altogether

Right now

I’m trying to make it to two weeks post treatment

And then I will rejoin the world

If it’ll still have me of course

Which has always been debatable

At best

Like me

Temperamental

At best

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Hi my name is Angela and it’s been one week since my last infusion…”

  1. Get out of your head! I know that sounds weird right but by being in your head so much you are a) freaking yourself out and b) imagining all sorts of things. I realize that it is easy for me to say that but I have been there, being in my head too much and it was hell. I am not sure what else to suggest (unless you want to throw imaginary pies at my head for being so overly optimistic and suggestive) I mean if you do please make them key lime pie which I so love. I am sorry that it is really hard for you right now. Wish that I had a magic wand I could wave to make things better, but alas I am not a very good fairy so they confiscated it on me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s