I’m like the Tonya Harding of the non figure skating world

More specifically

I am the Tonya Harding of the sick persons world

Like Tonya, I’m not the easiest to like

Like Tonya, I don’t evoke feelings of sympathy

Like Tonya, I’ve had to work at everything I’ve ever wanted

Unlike Tonya, I know the war is with myself

No one else ever should a chance

I know that there is no outside force that can be changed which will miraculously make my own life any easier

Nor will it make me the perfect poster child for a winning MS campaign

Or the face of the next Bell Let’s Talk day

I’ve accepted that things will likely always be a little harder for me

It’s my cross to bear

I’ve learned not everyone has one

And yes they are indeed lucky for that

Would I change it if I could?

Without hesitation

Do I think that there is anything within my control that would make said things easier for me?

Not a chance

The cross I have to bear

It’s a big one

It’s heavy and solid all the way through

And I drop it often

I can’t ever lose it though

Because I know it’s mine for this lifetime

So I pick it back up

And march on with it

It never feels lighter or easier

But I get more comfortable with it

I still stumble, and I struggle

But I have learned something

That cross will always be mine

And so I bear that damn cross

That has my name so deeply carved in it

That it could only ever be mine

No doubt or question

Sometimes I think I was born with that fucking cross

It was always mine

It claimed me

Before I had a chance to even breathe

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6 thoughts on “I’m like the Tonya Harding of the non figure skating world”

  1. I love the analogies you use. You are so talent with them! I do strongly disagree with the likable part as I find you very likable and people normally irritate the heck out of me! You are a pretty great and interesting woman and I am beyond glad I have had the chance to get to know you!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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