‘False Hope Is Just A Game Of Russian Roulette, I’d Rather You Just Open Fire.’ – K. Piper

I had a brief moment the other day

Where I felt like I was going to get answers and help

The solutions to persistent eye pain and nausea seemed just within my reach

I fell asleep last night feeling relieved and excited

About finally getting some help

I was almost giddy

If you can imagine that…

I woke up and got ready with my stomach in knots

I felt nervous and apprehensive

Unsure what to expect

See and herein lies the problem with hope

It hurts when it gets snuffed out like a candle

It hurts more than the very reason you needed hope

The ophthalmologist didn’t hesitate to shut down a plausible explanation for my symptoms

Without suggestion as to where to go from this point

I left the clinic


I came home

Closed the lights

Crawled into bed

Remembering why hope is a nothing more than a dangerous game of Russian roulette

And I’ve never liked the odds

6 thoughts on “‘False Hope Is Just A Game Of Russian Roulette, I’d Rather You Just Open Fire.’ – K. Piper”

  1. Oh sweetie, I am so sorry you went through all this. I totally understand getting all excited that things are going to go your way and then get nothing out of it. There are so many times that holding onto hope almost feels like holding on to a burning match, but when we let that burning match go it does not really solve anything. I understand the frustration and I am NOT trying to preach about hope, but please do not give up. You are way too strong and determined to ever surrender to anything. All you can really do is rest tonight and attack tomorrow! Sending you LOTS of love sweetie! Please know that I am always here for you!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry that it did not work the way that you were hoping it would. You know what I noticed though, you were optimistic and hopeful, and that is the part you need to hang onto. I do not understand at all what you are going through but hold on to your optimism it makes life so much better.

    Liked by 1 person

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