The Pincushion Queen

I’m filling out a self exploration journal

It asks me questions that make me think

I mostly like it

Until it stumps me

It wants to know three thoughts that made me smile

I sifted through the ashes of the day that was coming to an end

Searching for the remnants of a smile

Surely there had to be something

Instead I walked through empty hallways in my mind

Like an old home

Abandoned

There were cobwebs where laughter should have been

There were dusty corners where smiles should have hidden

I felt frantic in my search

It had to be there

Hidden under the tarps

I needed to find the right moments to erase the sadness in my heart

From room to room

Floor to floor

I searched

For something to hold onto

I looked around at a strange home that I’d never been to

But like all empty dilapidated homes

The previous owners had taken the memories with them

Maybe tomorrow

I’ll get lost in my old home

I’ll find all the smiles and laughs

That have gone missing throughout the years

Maybe tomorrow

I’ll write it all in my journal

Hoping it’ll fill up the emptiness in my mind

Wishing that my heart will be so filled to the brim

That the sadness won’t have any place to slither in

And I can tape the pages of my journal

All around my broken bits

Covering the seams to keep all the happiness locked inside

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5 thoughts on “The Pincushion Queen”

  1. Damn girl this was an amazing post with so much raw emotion. I know life is difficult and it is often hard to see the happy times because of all we are forced to deal with. Your journal sounds great and difficult at the same time. If I was asked to name 3 thoughts that made me smile today, I think I would struggle to even have one! Angela, I think even though times are difficult you are absolutely amazing and a truly wonderful person. I am thankful beyond measure that I have been able to get to know you. Hmm, I guess you are one thing that has made me smile today!

    Like

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