‘Every Day Is Exactly The Same.’ NIN

Sarah laid in bed for what felt like the hundredth day

She hadn’t been feeling well

And there wasn’t anyone around to distract her

Oh sure

Some days friends or family would call her or text her

But it was mostly out of obligation

Anyway, she didn’t want to be a bother

So she kept to herself most of the time

Although today she wondered

If it were more to protect them or herself

Sarah tried to distract herself with game apps on her phone

Matching colours and finding candy

Eventually she grew bored of them

She fell back on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling

It was strikingly white and in dark contrast to her blackout drapes covering her windows

There was a thin crack in the middle of the ceiling

How had she never noticed that before?

The more she stared at the crack

The longer it seemed to get

The longer it got

The more she wondered what would happen if the ceiling cracked wide open and collapsed on her

She laughed out loud

Picturing first responders rushing to the scene

And finding her still in her Hello Kitty pyjamas at 3 in the afternoon

What would they think about her?

Would they wonder why a 45 year old woman was home in the middle of the afternoon

In bed and wearing pyjamas of a cartoon cat

Staring up at the ceiling

With her tightly drawn blackout drapes to protect her from the outside

Or the outside from her

But her ceiling wide open

With the sun and the sky and everything else staring her down

Would they too see the irony in any of it?

With that in mind

Sarah finally got out of bed and walked to the window

And opened her blackout drapes wide

If there was going to be a great collapsing ceiling tragedy

She didn’t want it to include an ironic anecdote that the paramedics told their friends

Absolutely not

She thought resolutely

For this

She would risk inviting the outside world in

Even if it meant there was now only a thin fragile glass barrier between her and the outside world

She shuddered and went back to bed

And stared up at the crack in her ceiling

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