‘I Dream My Painting And Then I Paint My Dream.’ Van Gogh

So I did something today

That I hadn’t been able to previously accomplish

I finished an audiobook

No big deal there

That happens very frequently

I should clarify

I finished an audiobook where the main male character has Multiple Sclerosis

I know it might not seem monumental to you

There was no forewarning about his diagnosis in the description of the book

Because in all likelihood

I wouldn’t have given it a listen

I hate to admit that in the past I’d been unable to continue to listen when I got to the point in the story where a character was revealed to have MS

In that instance

I stopped cold turkey

Right then and there

This time around

I had two hours left in an eight hour book

It wouldn’t have been strange for me to not finish listening

There have been many times

Where the romance audiobook character said the word ‘gosh’ too many times

And with only minutes left

I just couldn’t do it and ended that listen lightening fast

Anyway this time

I got to the part where it is revealed the character has MS

I paused the audiobook for a minute

Maybe more

I called Joey to come into the room

Explained the situation

Made him listen to the line

And then

I did something unlike myself

I kept listening

There may have been some tears

The female characters

Not my own


A little my own

But whatever

More importantly

The story kept going

It didn’t end there

With him in a hospital

Talking medical shit with a doctor

The story continued for two hours

Two hours where I continued to listen

I could have stopped

Deleted it

Found something else

And yet I listened to the whole story

Sometimes with tears

Sometimes not

I kept going

I listened until the very last second

I listened until the credits rolled and the audio went silent

And honestly

I can’t think of anything more fucking poignant

5 thoughts on “‘I Dream My Painting And Then I Paint My Dream.’ Van Gogh”

  1. I think if a character had something I could so painfully, personally relate to, I’d be in two minds about continuing it. I’ve never listened to an audio book, started one once and gave up. The fact that you made it through to the bitter end is definitely poignant, and quite the achievement I think! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Audios are hard to get into. I was a really avid reader before and when I couldn’t ‘read’ anymore someone recommended audios. I tried it out but found that audios of the types of books I used to read before were not the same in audio format probably because in audio I get distracted a lot. So I find fluff that I listen to now is okay bc if I get distracted it’s not a big deal…if that makes sense. It was definitely difficult in the past to listen to an audio where the main character had MS and I’m surprised I could do it this time around…growth I guess 😬

      Liked by 1 person

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