You know how every winter when it gets below zero
You think to yourself
‘This is the problem with Canadian winters, it just drops and you don’t have time to get accustomed to the cold temperatures.’
Well
That’s kinda like having MS
In one day
In one minute
In one nanosecond
You go from being just another random person
To be a person with Multiple Sclerosis
Maybe you lose functioning of your right hand
Or your lower half goes numb
Or you’re like me
And one day there’s a blurred spot in your vision
That no amount of lens cleaning
Will get rid of
The fucked up part
Is that with relapse remitting Multiple Sclerosis
Every relapse is kinda like reliving that first one all over again
Yeah sure you have your symptoms
But you’ve grown used to them
You’ve figured out a routine
A method of getting shit done
And then bang
Boom
Pow
Out of nowhere
Your leg stops working and you fall
Or your speech gets slurred and you sound intoxicated
Or you’re like me and you can’t stand to have your eyes open for another fucking second
So yeah
MS is kinda like that
And every time I think I’ve gotten the right equipment
And my coat is warm enough
And my snow tires are on
Then it changes in a flash
And now I’m standing outside in a T-shirt and it’s minus 30 Celsius weather
And I don’t remember a time when I ever felt warm enough
And I can’t remember what the sun’s gaze feels like directly on my face
And I certainly can’t recall what I was like before I turned into ice and shattered into a million pieces
Or who I was before MS blew into my life like a fucking snowstorm on steroids
…..
One of my new favs you’ve written
Joey Paterno
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Neither can I
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How long ago were you diagnosed? I don’t know if I’ve asked that before sorry if I have
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I love the photos. I don’t have MS so I can only imagine the challenges of it, but I think you’ve described the painful 180 degree turnaround that it causes, knocking you on your ass and blowing everything up the way it does, uniquely well. x
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Thanks Caz. It’s like every time it rears it’s ugly head, it’s worse and uglier and I get more and more tired…you know?
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Fucking awesome post. You climbed into my brain and wrote what you saw. Love it.
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Thanks for your comment. Though i am sorry that you can relate to it so much! 🖤
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