There are literally billions of people on this earth
What does it matter if there is one less?
He wondered to himself
As he left the office, late one rainy night
A car raced by him, splashing him
Making him shiver now that he was drenched in muddy rain water
He thought a split second too late
How he could have easily jumped in front of that asshole’s car
Ruining that fucker’s night
And effectively ending his own
Two birds
One stone
In this case,
Two strangers and one pretentious oversized car
He rolled his eyes
Not for the first time that day
What was it with him lately?
He was becoming the grumpiest 28 year old man that ever existed
He remembered what Catherine had said to him before she ended things with him two weeks ago
‘You’re miserable. Miserable with life, with me and with yourself.’
He rolled his eyes again
Shit
He had to stop doing that
It’s become too reflexive
She was right though
He was miserable
He felt so…dissatisfied with everything
His job, his friends and most definitely with her
He just been going through the motions with her
Really, he was surprised she hasn’t broken up with him months before
But he knew why she had stayed
They looked good together
On paper and on the outside looking in
They looked like the it couple
She with her long red hair and perfectly fake smile
And him with his dark good looks and shadowed eyes
She had loved how her girlfriends envied their relationship
She got off on the times they had told her how jealous they were that she had found ‘someone like him’
As if he was a real catch
This time he stopped himself from rolling his eyes
At first he didn’t mind the way she would play up their relationship in front of others
Hell, it was easy to just smile and keep his hand on her waist
But eventually
Even standing beside her
Grew exhausting
And he couldn’t wait until he dropped her off at home
Making excuses why he couldn’t stay the night
She’d started dropping hints that she was unhappy
Complaining that he never took her anywhere
Or that he acted too indifferent around her friends
Through it all
He couldn’t bring himself to bother to care even the slightest
So when she’d told him she was through with him being miserable
He cut the call, tossed his cell and slept like a baby that night
He wasn’t miserable per say
And yet here he was
Thinking of jumping in front of some asshole’s car
Out of equal parts spite and desperation
He went home that night and drank too much whiskey and passed out in front of the television
He woke up with a brutal hangover that would surely stick with him all day
After showering and forcing down a few Tylenol
He dressed and headed to the subway
Hoping it would be a quiet morning and that when he made it to work
He could just hide out in his office
The subway platform was packed and he felt that same old irritability starting to infiltrate every part of his whiskey soaked brain
The alcohol from last night hadn’t done much to put a damper on his chronically bad mood
He rolled his eyes
Fuck
That hurt
The subway sped into the station
Everyone surged forward
Social etiquette failed to exist in these self serving moments
He hung back
Not caring if he made it onto this train
Maybe he could wait for the next train
Maybe he’d jump in front of it
But there was room
So he moved forward and walked and without paying much attention
He sat in the first available seat and let his head fall back
A few stops later
He felt someone’s eyes on him
He could tell without even opening his own
He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and looked up
And locked eyes with a woman standing directly front of him
He felt a jolt through his entire body
Effectively waking him up
How had he missed her?
While she stared at him
He looked her over
Seeing her black clothing in stark contrast to her pale skin
Her ripped up jeans that led to old school sneakers that looked like they were well worn
He made his way back up and this time the shock of her electric blue hair caught his attention
It was so bright and stood out in the sea of conformity around them
He looked back at her face
And saw that she was looking at him with a strange expression on her face
He should have looked away
It was the polite thing to do
But then a whisper of a tattoo design peaked out on her outstretched arm that held the pole in front of her
Her jacket having ridden up her arm
He couldn’t tell what it was from the little he saw
But could tell it wrapped around her wrist and extended up into her jacket sleeve
He looked back at her
Her face filled with concern
He looked away from her and down at his phone in his hands
What was that look for?
Trying to focus on the note he was trying to type out on his phone
Struggling to find words that would explain everything without blaming anyone
He wouldn’t look up
He must have misread the expression on her face
He would not look up
Most people looked at him with intrigue
He looked up
And she was looking down at him
She still had that concerned look on her face
As if she knew something
Her bright eyes looked directly into his eyes
Searching for something
She shifted her eyes but looked back quickly
Imploringly
She opened her mouth to speak
And in a voice as captivating as her blue blue hair
She said
‘It’s gonna get better you know. One day, it won’t feel like this.’
What the fuck?
He struggled to find something to say
‘You’re gonna be okay’
She whispered
What was she talking about?
As they entered a tunnel, the lights cut out
It was pitch black
He started breathing shallowly
He felt pressure on his hand
Then a graze of his cheek
It felt cool like a salve on his overheated skin
He knew it was her
He could feel the intensity of her words touching him
Seeping inside his skin
Past the bone and muscle
And into his heart
Which started beating rapidly
It was like it was being kick started after a long period of inactivity
The lights came on suddenly
The subway ground to a halt
The doors opened
Beeping loudly
And she was gone
He stared down at his phone
The note application still open
All the words he’d written
Gone
All the apologies
Erased
All the explanations
Deleted
All that was left were 6 little words
That he hadn’t typed
‘I made it. So will you.’
Too beautiful!❤️❤️
Sent from my iPad
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I really enjoyed this Angela!
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Thanks steve😊
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Wow What can I say You are officially a writer I’m proud of you
Joey Paterno
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What was I before? 😳
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