On a shitty day, I’ll gamble with myself
‘ If even one good thing happens to me today, I will be okay.’
At first glance it seems the odds are stacked in my favour
Only I’m not a very good gambler
And I find myself on the losing end of that bet more often than I’d care to admit
One
Good
Thing
It doesn’t seem like much
Nor does it seem like something that would be hard to come by
But when you’ve stopped working
Your world becomes frighteningly small
Leaving you with less possibilities for something
And there’s only so many times you can count your dogs something good that happened
Without starting to feel like you’re lying to yourself
Maybe it’s the combination of illnesses that I carry
That make it harder and harder to be on the winning side of that bet
Maybe it’s luck
I don’t know
I think I’m one of those people that can lament that if it weren’t for bad luck, they’d have none at all
So I like calling it a bet or a gamble
Because when you’re calling it hope
And you lose….
It’s just so much more disheartening
