‘…how blue the sky appears…blue enough to bruise a heart.’ Sanober Khan

Every time I scan my body for a bruise or petechiae

For the rest of my life

I’ll revert back to this past summer

And the disdain

I felt for my body

For betraying me

Yet again

I thought we’d come to an agreement after I lost my fucking mind in January 2019

I thought we were cool

Ready to coexist

Always together

Anxiety

Panic

Depression

MS

All of it

We were going to get through it all

But those damn blood bruises

A warning sign that my body wasn’t holding up its end of the bargain

Now even though I’m in some sort of remission

I scan my body

Hoping to not see those blotches on my skin

But when I do

Like this evening

I’m suddenly back to Florida in August

Angry

Afraid

Alone

With a body that was turning on me

A body that didn’t feel like mine anymore

I can’t help but miss the days when a stumble was just a misstep

And a bruise

Was just a fucking bruise

9 thoughts on “‘…how blue the sky appears…blue enough to bruise a heart.’ Sanober Khan”

  1. Hey Angela! I hope you are staying safe and not exposed to the coronavirus. It is terrifying times and our immature childish wannabee leader, Trump, just continues to lie.I will promise you this, if this moron is re-elected we are moving to Canada. I think Justin is a better leader, but then again, my cat would be a better leader. How have you been doing lately?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Alyssa! I’m staying inside and trying not to get too freaked out while taking all the necessary precautions. Trump is such a fool. How are you doing? What’s it like right now where you live?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my goodness, YES Trump is a complete and total fool! I don’t dislike many people, but him and Pence I despise. A person that reads my posts apparently loves Trump and didn’t appreciate my take on him. Sorry, but Trump is the worst person ever and is destroying this country! I wish he would disappear or get coronavirus. He says he was tested, but I call BS on that!
        I am glad you are taking the proper precautions and taking care of yourself. I am doing well. I was stressed to the max with both me and my husband out of work, but he just got a good job offer today, so I feel the weight being lifted from my shoulders. Things are a mess where I live. My dumbass checks the new cases of coronavirus in my city and it scares the hell out of me how much it is increasing. My husband, I love him to death, but he is rather lazy, so I have been to the grocery store with all shelves pretty empty a few times. I am careful though.How are things up where you live?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am glad you are self isolating things are terrifying. Down in the states they are trying to reopen things up like nothing happened and there isn’t anything to worry about. I do not leave the house often and when I do I am armed with a mask and gloves! Please continue to stay safe Angela!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It’s so scary how they don’t seem to be taking this seriously. Things have been very different here and it’s been more about adjusting to a new normal. Stay safe!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I hate to say this, but too many American’s believe all the lies the president speaks. He is nothing but a liar with no thoughts for people’s lives. It is sad and scary. I have said this many times, but if he gets reelected my husband and I want out of the states. I don’t know how true it is that we are free and we help decide who the president will be, but it is all a lie. I am not naive enough to think that all problems will go away in Canada, but it can’t be any worse. We have heard people in Canada are nicer and happier, what do you think?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I wouldn’t say that Canadians are nicer or happier. I think you find pockets of both the best and worst of people everywhere. I love my city because it’s diverse and unique but I wouldn’t say that there aren’t ignorant pricks here too.

        Liked by 1 person

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