‘No Dress Rehearsal. This Is Our Life.’

11 years ago

October 27, 2007

We got married

Still a few years shy of 30 years old

We thought we had it all figured out

How little we knew

We had yet to learn a lot

To experience so so much

We thought we knew it all

Life, predictably knew better

And yet

Even though

It was never perfect

It was occasionally heartbreaking

It was often difficult

It was filled with laughter

It was sometimes chaotic

It was sprinkled with passion

It was usually me needing help

It was intermittently explosive

It was frequently unexpected

And it was always…

Always…with you


Throw back 11 years ago

Tens years and a lifeline 

Ten years that we’ve been married 

It’s been so much longer though hasn’t it?

Sixteen years together

It feels like both a lifetime and not enough time 

I didn’t know then the difference you’d make in my life

Though I should have 

Looking back I should have noticed the way the air felt different

Thicker and somehow more crisp

How did I miss the way time both stopped and started going by so fast 

I should have known my life wouldn’t be the same

I should have known then that only you could make an outsider like me feel unconditionally loved 

Only you

I didn’t know because I didn’t think unconditional love was real outside of maybe a parents love for their baby

Though I should have known better when I met you

Nothing was the same after that

Looking back over these years

We’ve been through so much

How did we survive it all?

So many ups and so many downs

The only constant has been you 

Exclusively you

You’ve seen me at my very worst too many times to count 

And yet you’re still here

Always just you

I must have done something so very right to deserve you

Whatever it was

I know it wasn’t enough

I’ll spend my whole life

Thanking the universe for giving me you

Only ever you 

‘And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.’

‘ I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.’