It’s never too late

A year and a half ago I only had an appreciation for Art other people created.

I always had creative urges within me.

To do something with hair, make up, my room, my body…To just see art around me.

And then when I needed it most

The ability to create art came to me

I was 37 years old

This wasn’t the way I thought my life would turn out.

I thought I’d be an old cool social worker working with disadvantaged youth…

then life happened…

Maybe through art I’ll find a way to become okay with that.

Maybe this is all part of the story of my life…

For now…

I participated in my first art show

How wild is that?

Two years ago, I would never have thought this would have been in my future

Leaving my job was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done

There will always be an empty part of my heart because of that

The loss of it felt so strong

No one prepares you for the grief that comes with that

And as hard as that was

I was lucky to have found something that gives me peace

Back to the art show

I was so anxious in the days leading up to it

The day of was a nightmare

I felt physically sick

I told Joey I couldn’t do it

That I wouldn’t go

I felt like a fraud

Everyone would know that I’m not an artist

I’m not ‘one of them’

Somehow I made it there

We set up

My hands were like ice

My skin felt like it didn’t fit right

I looked around

In awe of the sheer talent of the artists around me

Real artists

What am I doing here?

This is going to be horrid

And then somehow

It wasn’t…

People perused the artwork I’d made

The artwork that has saved my life

The first few customers

Terrified me

I was so nervous I even made something up when someone asked about my process

How embarrassing

More people came

They bought stuff

They gushed over the artwork

My artwork

My face grew hot

I said thank you

But I wanted to say I’m not a real artist!

More people came by

More people bought stuff

The compliments I received were mind blowing

Some of the vendors bought MY artwork

Loved MY artwork

🤯

Mind blown

I sold over 25 pieces of art that day

I left there with a goofy grin on my face

I was exhausted

And so amazed

Things like this don’t happen to ME

I’m the one who gets MS

Who gets a rare blood disorder because of a treatment I had to undergo for MS

I don’t get the happy endings

Maybe the art show was a one off

Maybe I won’t sell anymore

Maybe it was all a fluke

Those are still the thoughts on a loop in my mind

And in spite of that

I still paint

I still decoupage

I find poems that resonate with me

I create art

And I’m kind of an artist now

Maybe one day I’ll say that without madly blushing

For now

I’ll just use the heated cheeks as a reminder of how far I’ve come

And that’s good enough

For now…

Damaged Goods (Shoppe)

Hey friends

I know I’ve been M.I.A around here and have completely been up my own ass

But it hasn’t been for nothing

You know that quote by Albert Camus: In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

Well it’s actually true in my case

During what has undoubtedly been the worst time of my life…hospital visits and crisis centres and panic attacks and crying. Oh man the crying…

Well somehow during that, I started fooling around with decoupaging and that led me to painting. Now I must warn you that despite how often I’ve been asked or told that I ‘must be an artist’. I’ve never thought of myself as creative nor did I have any interest in pursuing art of any kind other than just to please my own eye.

But I found that I can literally turn my brain off while creating or painting or decoupaging or whatever else I come up with. Hours go by, my hands and arms are covered with Mod Podge and paint…and I have created something. That feeling of accomplishment is so rewarding. It’s intoxicating actually. And it feels really fucking good.

And so began Damaged Goods Shoppe. I don’t know where this will lead me or how it will turn out. I can, however say that nothing, not even writing this blog has made me feel as vulnerable showcasing my art. I’m not used to that. I’m such an open book and sometimes even a little cocky but this is different somehow.

Anyway, for now you can find my creations on Instagram at

www.instagram.com/damagedgoodsshoppe

On Facebook at

https://www.facebook.com/damagedgoodsshoppe/

On Etsy at

https://damagedgoodsshoppe.etsy.com. 

and you can reach me through any of those sources or via email at damagedgoodsshoppe@gmail.com

I hope you’ll take a peak and I’d love and appreciate any feedback

-Angela

Shopkeeper of Damaged Goods

I’ve been working hard on creating