‘There Was A Time In My Life When I Thought I had Everything…Now I Struggle For Peace.’ Richard Pryor

This morning I read about Richard Pryor and having Multiple Sclerosis

Now I’m pissed off at myself

Because I allowed it to fuck with my head

All day

I kept seeing Richard Pryor towards the end of his life

In a wheelchair

His head sort of lolled forward

Frail and sickly

As if that image wasn’t sad enough

The word ‘invalid’ is stamped onto the backs of my eyelids

That’s how his widow referred to him in an interview after his death

When he became an invalid’

Something like that

That word taunted me all day

Haunted me

Invalid

It’s the opposite of valid

Which means

An idea or thought that is sensible

Or

Something that is important or serious enough that it is worth saying or doing

And that’s what got to me

Because at the end of his ‘battle’ with MS

He was reduced to a word

Irregardless of his willingness to fight and stay positive and be strong and every other trivial motivational one liner people throw at us

He was reduced to a word that literally meant he wasn’t important

That his life didn’t matter

And quite honestly

I cannot think of anything more heartbreaking

Than to be thought of

As nothing more than just inconsequential

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